Jack interrogates Barney the Dinosaur
by Killbot4000
Summary: Jack must avert another major terrorist attack by getting vital information from one person; Barney


One man strode purposefully into a darkened room, the only illumination came from the light coming through a window into another room. He walked right up to the window and paused, surveying what was in front of him. He looked to his right and said "Tony, what are we dealing with?"

"Well Jack" he replied "the terrorists that have hijacked the new N-34 military satellite have it armed and ready to go. They're going to activate it and completely obliterate a major American city in the next thirty minutes."

Without missing a beat Jack Bauer asked "and what do we know about this guy?" pointing to the guy they were watching in the interrogation room.

"Our intel says this guy was in possession of the override codes two hours ago, so he either has them or knows where they are. They only name we have for him is Barney the Dinosaur"

Jack and Tony looked in through the one-way mirror at the tall purple dinosaur with a green patch in the middle of his stomach and a big toothy smile. He was sitting behind a table, amusing himself by waving at his reflection in the mirror.

"Jack, we have to make him talk and we have to do it now!"

Jacks face scrunched up to convey a sense of deep concentration and intense focus, the kind of focus he had when he knew exactly what needed to be done but he knew he would have to dig deep to be able to do it. Jack was ready, he was ready to go to the edge if he had to.

"I'll make him talk"

Jack opened the door to the interrogation room and Barney immediately introduced himself by exclaiming "Hello buddy, let's play some super dee duper games together!"

Jack growled "you think I'm here to play games?"

Barney replied "ok we can sing instead! I'll start. I love you, you love me….

Jack knew this guy was going to try and distract him as much as possible, but with a ticking clock there was absolutely no time to waste. He had to let this guy know he was serious and he had to do it right now.

Jack punched Barney right in the stomach to knock the wind out of him and then grabbed his right hand and pulled one of his fingers back until he heard the sound of bones breaking. He then did it with another finger, and another.

"Owie!" screamed Barney.

Jack stood behind him and spoke in his ear "That's the least painful thing you will feel today unless you start telling me where the override codes are!"

"What?" Barney was now totally confused about what was going on. He had literally no idea what Jack was talking about.

"Your terrorist cell is about to kill millions of innocent people unless you tell us where the override codes are and we know you had them two hours ago. Please don't do this. Just tell me where the codes for the N-34 military grade satellite are and I'll let you go."

Barney thought about it for a second and said "Well I don't know what you're talking about mister but I can count to 34 if that will help you. One, two, three, four, fi…."

Barney was stopped mid count as a frustrated Jack Bauer started breaking his fingers again. This time Jack was the one that was counting.

"four fingers broken, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."

Knowing that breaking the rest of Barney's fingers would not push him far enough Jack knew he had to go farther than this. The interrogation had to become even more drastic. Jack pulled out a pistol from behind his back and shot Barney just above his left kneecap. The screams could be heard from well outside the interrogation room but as usual this was not Jacks concern. His single minded focus allowed him to concentrate on just one thing: getting the information they needed.

"WE ARE RUNNING OUTTA TIME! YOU ARE GONNA TELL ME WHERE THE OVERRIDE CODES ARE NOW!" he screamed while using the end of his pistol to press down on the newly formed bullet wound.

There was complete silence coming from Barney, he was still conscious but he just had nothing to say.

Jack was starting to realise that this line of interrogation wasn't working. He wasn't talking and in any case if he pushed harder it would probably kill him or at the very least cause him to go into shock. Maybe now it was time for a slightly softer approach.

Jack move closer and whispered in his ear " I know what type of person you are, you're a soldier just like me. You have a cause that you believe in and are willing to die for and I can respect that but this is not the right way to get what you want. I can put you in touch with some very powerful people. I can set up a meeting with the President of the United States. You can talk about whatever changes you would like to implement. That is a far more powerful tool for change then what you are trying to accomplish now. You don't want to be remembered as a man who murdered millions of innocents. We can give you immunity for what you have done up to now so help us. Please tell me what I want to know. Tell us what you want."

Once again Barney the Dinosaur thought for a second and looked up with a big smile on his face and said cheerfully "What I want is for a nurse to treat my ouchies and then go for a big glass of chocolate milk. Afterwards we can go back to the playground and play games. You could come with me and play hopscotch. Come on mister, I bet you would be really good at it!"

Jack stood there with a dumbfounded expression on his face, he had interrogated so many people in the past, Ted Cofell, Syed Ali, Stephen Saunders, Habib Marwan, Christopher Henderson and even his own brother. But he had never faced anything like what he was facing now. Not that Jack had any intention of stopping though, he pulled a switch blade from his pocket and stabbed him in the left shoulder. Blood was gushing from the wound and pouring down his body.

"Tell me where it is now or you will bleed to death in a matter of minutes" Jack stated matter-of-factly.

A buzzing sound was heard and Tony Almeida came running into the room screaming "Stop! I just got a call from the FBI to say they have found the codes and have used them to stop the attack."

"So the threat is over?"

"Yes, and furthermore we found that this guy Barney was framed. He didn't know anything about it"

Jack looked back awkwardly to realise that the guy he had been torturing for the last ten minutes really didn't know anything and he had already bled to death. His purple smiley head had slumped onto his shoulders. Barney had sang his last song and played his last game.

Tony put his hand on Jack's shoulder and said "It's okay, you were just doing what you thought was right, you didn't know he was innocent. Come on, let's go celebrate another terrorist attack averted."

Jack looked at Tony and smiled " Ya, I guess you're right. Let's celebrate by getting some chocolate milk".

Tony looked at him with a quizzical expression on his face but nodded his head in agreement.


End file.
